My name is Treacle and I am gorgeous. I know this because everyone tells me. I live with my sisters Podge and Lulu, and the human members of my family, Mummy, Daddy and my two human sisters, Eleanor and Grace. I am a black labrador. There are a few others who live here too. An old pony called Tooty, who is 44 and whom Mummy thinks is "on the way out", a young pony called Twinkle who thinks that she is gorgeous (but she is not as gorgeous as me in my opinion), several sheep and some new chickens.

The new chickens are frankly, not going to last. I hate pheasants and I have decided that I hate chickens too. Daddy rolled his eyes when they arrived. He does not think that they will last either. I heard him mutter something about "keeping that bloody dog away from them". What he has failed to realise is that I only retrieved the last ones because I thought I was doing him a favour, after all he had been trying for months to teach me how to retrieve pheasants and it's not that easy, I can assure you. How do you fancy a mouth full of feathers? It's not my scene at all. Anyway I thought the chickens might achieve a few brownie points but Mummie swore at me and then put me in the boot room "to think it over". I did think it over and have subsequently decided that chickens are not worth all the effort that I had to expend in catching them - it's so much easier to help ones self off the work surface. Must go as have to pick human sisters up from school. It is snowing, so if she manages not to crash the car might go out for a wander with the girls later and see if I can find something rancid enough to roll in for a laugh. This always provokes some sort of reaction, not always positive, but to be honest, I need a shower and this usually does the trick.

This is a picture of me in the woods, a cheesy wotsit has just been dropped over my shoulder, hence my look of concentration.