"Oh God, the school holidays" this is what Mummie said when I jumped on the bed and disabled her this morning and to be honest, I know what she means. I am sick of the humiliation. Last summer I spent six weeks in a red satin cape being dragged around the garden and paraded as "The Royal Dog". The Barbie phase is now over but I am a bit depressed at the thought of what will happen now they are in to James Bond. I like to do things at my own speed, I cannot imagine being dragged around on a lead for a high speed chase and am awaiting the good weather with trepidation.

Daddy has now seriously blotted his copy book. The fencer has not appeared AGAIN. Mummie spent this morning trying to get the ram back in the paddock. Sheep may be stupid but they have an in-built radar for finding holes in fences. Mummie went a very funny colour this morning when she saw P Diddy, the ram, wandering around on the front lawn( he is extraordinarily untalented, ego driven and really rough around the edges as well as having no talents other than procreation). She went mad. She started screaming something about "him being to tight to put his hand in his pocket" and I could tell that even P Diddy was a bit in awe. I was keeping well back and just watching the action because I can remember seeing the gardener vault the paddock fence with P Diddy in pursuit and did not want any repetition with myself as the target. The fence posts are now wedged up with wheelie bins for effect and I think she is right in saying that a combination of the wheelie bins on the front lawn and the "wiping of the floor with your Father when he comes home" will produce a result. I expect the fencer will be here in the morning

Incidentally, I have found the stash of easter eggs for the egg hunt on Sunday. I have had a few but in view of her being a bit stressed at the moment, I have decided not to go the whole hog. Daddy keeps threatening me with "a bit of social awareness". I don't know what it is but he sounded as if he would enjoy giving it to me. Podge is in disgrace due to a noticeable hole in a red persian rug. Auntie Kate is arriving tonight thank goodness. This means that I shall have a proper bed for the next few nights. I should have this as a right, not a privilege but it has so far eluded me. Mummie was reading the problem page in a newspaper several months ago. A woman had written in saying that she had her two labradors on the bed every night but that now they were getting a bit old and smelly her husband wanted them to sleep elsewhere. Her problem was that she would prefer to keep her dogs and move her husband elsewhere. Mummie read this to Daddy and looked at him meaningfully. He made no comment but I know I shall have my way in the end.

Must go as I can hear pots in the kitchen.