I know that I have been incommunicado for quite some time however this was due to circumstances outwith my control ie. Daddy has had a real downer on me. It started just before Christmas when I managed to stumble across a box of German kirsch filled chocolates which I had had my eye on since they had been brought to the house. In mitigation, nobody else liked them and I don't like waste. Chocolate, especially the dark stuff is allegedly death to dogs however there is quite obviously a labrador gene which disproves this. I had the whole box in one sitting to no ill effect apart from feeling a bit funny for a few days, running around all of the time and being obnoxious. Mummie wasn't laughing because she said that I turned in to a drunken lout overnight and when I was sick on the carpet she flipped. Daddy was being quite indulgent at this point pointing out to Mummie that my behaviour should have reminded her of her own mis-spent youth. Mummie said that her mis-spent youth wasn't as expensive as mine and that if it happend again I was out.

The next misdemeanour was Christmas Eve when Grannie found the two empty nets of chocolate coins in the dining room. They were meant to go into Christmas stockings but found themselves in me instead. I must admit that I did not see the attraction of the foil wrappers but was forced to eat them in order to get the chocolate inside. I had a cough again on Christmas day because the wrappers did hurt a bit on the way down. On Christmas night and Boxing Day morning I managed three whole selection boxes, including plastic wrappers but not the cardboard boxes and then on Hogmanay I had a box of Lindt excellence which were not as good as the Freddo Frogs from the selection boxes. I have apparently put on a bit of weight and Daddy, who thinks that he is seriously funny, has started calling me the walking footstool because my back has got wider. He says that I am officially obese. I would disagree with his statement. I am not after all a whippet. I am a proper labrador. Furthermore it is my New Years resolution not to take any more crap from these people. Daddys friend thought that he was going to kick me out from my spot at the fire. See how I deal with people like that. I shall not be downtrodden.