There was a point at the weekend when I really wondered whether I could go on. On Friday Mummie took me out to the front paddock to kit Declan out in his latest rug. This is its seventh incarnation since May last year and the most expensive to date and she has had to redirect the bank statement to the bottom of the bonfire in order that Daddy doesn't divorce her. For the avoidance of any doubt, Daddy hates horses. He says that Declan has the appearance of a gypsy carthorse and that with a bit of luck some idiot will steal him at Appleby Fair time. I don't like him either, his feet are too big for me to risk getting near his feed bucket without a trip to the ill mannered vet. Anyway, whilst out there I did come across a particularly stupid pheasant inside one of the tree fences which I felt obligated to chase for nearly half an hour. Mummie was incoherent. Despite of her demands that I return indoors, I would not. Her legs were not long enough to connect with my rear end. Her face went a different colour to usual and the language would have shamed a navvy. She managed free the pheasant eventually, obviously with my help, and I was so hot by then that I had to go for a prolonged wallow ith the pond. This obvoiusly tipped her over the edge because the words started coming out of her mouth at such a rate that I couldn't understand a thing. I discovered the jist of it when I was dragged in to the kennel and told that it would be the only place that my green tide mark would be welcome for the forseeable future.

I was only washed this morning which is verging on inhumane and even then it was in the bath rather than in the shower which I prefer. In addition only towel drying, no hairdryer in sight and I was coiffured by a nit comb which is no less than slander in my eyes. I was rewarded tonight with an evening in the sitting room by special request of Daddy on whose lap I watched the most marvellous, wonderful advert I have ever seen. Imagine this, chocolate in the shape of a rabbit. It doesn't get any better than that