I'm back! No thanks to the management team at BT who Mummie is going to hunt down and persecute until they explain why they incompetent but still in jobs. She has added BT to the top of the list of "totally bloody useless" British companies (see previous blogs).

I have been on holiday in Scotland where I had a great time. Our cottage was on the shores of Loch Fyne and I swam every day, ate anything dead washed up by the tide and got very cross with the dreaded midges who seem to like all things black.

We have a new horse called Declan. He is a very beautiful but wilful Welsh cob. He has tried to get Mummie off several times. Daddy has suggested that I follow them around the field to act as a soft landing strip incase Declan is successful on account of my "generous padding". What a cheek. He has been in charge of my feeding regime for weeks now. I am verging on "toast rack". Strangers are offering me food. Even Grace, who is totally stingy with sweets is passing them under the table to me. I had to resort to an unsupervised box of TicTacs yesterday. I hate mints but I just knew that I had to eat them to keep my strength up. Much more of this and I shall have to find a way in to the chicken shed (they are still with us). What worries me is that they are going on holiday in ten days. This means that Grandma and her two awful dogs will be coming to stay. They will be given all of the preferential food and I will just get dog food. One of her dogs still has the marks where Lulu picked it up and shook it like a rat. At least Mummie will not be here when Grandma is. Koffi Annan couldn't make her be civil to Grandma, I suppose we just have to be grateful that Mummie hasn't picked Grandma up by the scruff of the neck and shaken her like a rat. I know the thought crosses her mind when Grandma's name is even mentioned.

I enclose a photo of us on holiday. Naturally, as the most beautiful, I am in the foreground.