I have had the most traumatic time recently hence my lack of communications. It started when cousin Archie came to stay. Grandpa has been to the saw doctor about his knee and is unable to do the hundred metres for a few months and therefore Mummie has been delegated to look after Archie. Archie is alright but was slightly wet when he arrived knowing nothing about country ways and I have taken him under my wing in order that he feels more at home. This culminated last night in a real to do because Daddy shot a rabbit which had stupidly been eating Mummies clematis. Daddy calls this approach "natural selection". I went to fetch the shot rabbit but no, Archie decided that he must retrieve it. I do think myself that this was an act of gross stupidity. He has only been here five minutes. I have spent a lifetime perfecting my technique and according to Daddy, I am still bloody useless. Archie stole the rabbit and then refused to give it up. You are not allowed to eat them. That is the rule. Archie wouldn't give the rabbit up and then got a swift kick up the backside the surprise of which forced him to let go. He then proceeded to steal another rabbit that I had found and make off with it too. I had stashed it a while ago and admittedly it was a bit ripe. Ha Ha - he had a night in th kennel because Mummie quite rightly knew that the rabbit would make a reappearance. It has been time consuming but I have taught Mummie well. If Archie thinks for one minute that the apprentice has become the master he is on to plums.

Further degredation was to follow. The chimney sweep has had to be called again because another jackdaw has made its nest in the most used chimney in the house. You would imagine that this is not a good idea but they like it a lot. Mummies language was quite trenchant and had the jackdaw not already been dead down the chimney I am sure that it wouldn't have hung around to see what happened next. The chimney sweep was here all day removing the nest from the chimney, sending up smoke bombs and generally making sure that he wouldn't have to have the pleasure of Mummies company again for quite some time. Daddy nearly passed out when he saw the bill and voiced the opinion that he could have saved the money by sending me up the chimney instead, his reasons being that a. I am black anyway and so nobody would notice if I got dirty b. I like eating dead things and would have removed the need for the sweep to spend two hours fishing out the bird and c. (and this cut me to the quick) My tail is as bushy as the sweeps brush and would have made an excellent job of the chimney. Needless to say, in future, he can retrieve his own bloody rabbits, I am not to be toyed with.

Daddy says that dogs do not go on furniture but as you can see he is wrong about this too. I do like to spend at least a few hours in contemplation in the sun room each day.