I am sick, sick , sick of all of the grief I am getting just now and I am off if there is much more. Firstly I have been severely reprimanded by way of a toe up my a**e for digging up Mummies garden. She cannot have it both ways. Rabbits live under the garden and she is a full-time whinger when something else gets eaten. At least if I destroy something whilst digging I have acheived something. She will have to learn that it is for the greater good. Daddy on the otherhand goads me in to digging wherever I like. Daddy says that I have the best nose of any dog he has ever met and I am inclined to agree with him. Mummie says that Daddy will be getting a toe up his a**e next time she catches him encouraging me.

Next, it has been so hot that I have had to resort to the pond again. Mummie was livid. She says that I have squashed several hundred tadpoles and she says that I stink. Furthermore, she says that my attitude stinks and that I am one misdemeanour away from being fired from my position of house dog. I spent last night in the kennel for "social awareness" purposes. I howled all night which kept Mummie awake and her mood is even more grim today than yesterday. Daddy says that I should have been on "Britain's Got Talent" because my voice is far better than anything else on that show and has started to call me Julio Tuftyarse. I cannot help it if my coat is shedding and find his comments grossly offensive. Anyway, Mummie has burnt her nose in the sun and looks far more stupid than me.

This is a picture of my sister and me.........in happier times.