Well, today has been mundane and uneventful. Mummie and I went shopping and I had to endure another diatribe about why it should be a "criminal offence" for shops to manufacture clothes that were designed to make normal women look like barrage balloons. Daddy called on the way home and asked after Basil Brush. He thinks he is so funny. My tail is nothing like a foxes brush and if he continues in this vein tonight he will get a very dirty look from me. Podge and Lulu are now shouting HaHa BoomBoom whenever I walk in to the room and I was so cross last night that I took myself off to one of the bedrooms for peace and now I shall be up infront of the Beak when Mabel (cleaning lady) finds a hairy duvet cover. One cannot win in this house at times.

Mummie and I have been outside this afternoon. My only mistake was in being caught licking last years congealed fat off the barbecue she was spring cleaning - it was still quite tasty but I couldn't have eaten a lot of it. At one point the phone went and Mummie tripped over me trying to run for it. Some of the thing she said were quite uncouth when she was picking the gravel out of her knee but I got off without another ear bashing because she discovered that it had been Grandma on the phone and was glad she had missed a call from "the stroppy old bitch" I don't know what this phrase means but it us used regularly when in the same sentence as Grandma's name and usually in conjunction with shouting and gesticulations.

I am now going in the car to pick up some low calorie dog food - another one of Daddy's great ideas. This is a picture of Podge asleep on the sofa - If I were to be uncharitable I would draw your attention to her whippet like tail.